I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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