I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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