I wanna passion pit in your ass
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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