My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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