I like my sex mixed with concussions.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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