So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
