Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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