i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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