You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
