party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
