guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize