the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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