Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Randomize
