i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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