I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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