Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
