I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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