I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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