We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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