so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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