im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I smell like Dick and happiness
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
