the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
40s are totally the cure
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
