Can i not drive my cunt home
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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