Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
