Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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