We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
