Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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