Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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