sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
