She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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