i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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