He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
ttyl tear gas
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
