there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
