Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
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Semen is not good for contacts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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