woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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