wanna go halves on a baby?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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