Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
