I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize