Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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