you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
