ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
