Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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