Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize