ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
