You surviving the open bar?
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he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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