Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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