this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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