I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
