During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
