Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Less talking, more tequila
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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