I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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