i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???