The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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