So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone