Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
