I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
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You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.