Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.