If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
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You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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