Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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