i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
