Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex