Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...

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  (727): Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons... http://tfl.nu/8jcz
  Replies (16) Good night (4732) Bad night (1087)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?

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  (731): We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country? http://tfl.nu/p4z6
  Replies (37) Good night (4758) Bad night (1305)
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  (619): View more from California

  There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.

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  (619): There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie. http://tfl.nu/om3k
  Replies (31) Good night (939) Bad night (3651)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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  (212): Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?! http://tfl.nu/8o3k
  Replies (18) Good night (1380) Bad night (4670)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!

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  (254): His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!! http://tfl.nu/05kd
  Replies (15) Good night (4992) Bad night (1882)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.

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  (315): We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders. http://tfl.nu/ji4s
  Replies (4) Good night (2360) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.

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  (843): great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/cndy
  Replies (5) Good night (1844) Bad night (858)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  This tent reeks of fear and sangria

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  (623): This tent reeks of fear and sangria http://tfl.nu/pbhq
  Replies (3) Good night (1606) Bad night (736)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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  (541): Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/cv6a
  Replies (8) Good night (2206) Bad night (683)
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  (714): View more from California

  We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

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  (714): We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%. http://tfl.nu/ldbs
  Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (660)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ong my arms are moving wo my consent

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  (847): Ong my arms are moving wo my consent http://tfl.nu/lzs5
  Replies (7) Good night (1324) Bad night (668)
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  (415): View more from California

  If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will

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  (415): If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will http://tfl.nu/eboo
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (436)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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  (605): I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST. http://tfl.nu/w1we
  Replies (0) Good night (704) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.

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  (507): The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it. http://tfl.nu/8csb
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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  (808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc
  Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (413)

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