i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.