I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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