Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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