From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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