is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
